An essential guide to the UKs 2019 General Election – a brand new Christmas ‘Panto Day’ production?


It’s probably many years since most British voters attended a traditional Christmas pantomime, but most will remember the excitement as children watching and vocally participating, singing along, booing and shouting, “he’s behind you” as the baddies came on stage

Unfortunately, in this latest panto there simply are no goodies, but only the acts of the supervillains, eh? So, before Christmas we have to face-down the villainous living legends of complicity, deceit, lies, and unrealistic outcomes in the political fairy tales of the likes of:

Aladdin with Boris Johnson’, who from childhood wanted to be world king, is a loveable buffoon, and a smooth-talking serial philanderer, but in character is looking villainous while masquerading as Jafar the crown’s most trusted advisor, although also perhaps an evil sorcerer clearly plotting to rule, and a slick, deceptive, manipulative, and malicious advisor trying to bamboozle and influence a confused, politically exhausted by BREXIT, electorate, eh? Well, also he is a leader, who like his two predecessors, is adept at living the bare-faced lie that he has negotiated a DIFFERENT ‘good deal’ for the UK, but uniquely is now offering riches to the nation in terms of public spending, when the glaring truth is that the current party machine is doing nothing more than ‘proposing’ to restore some of what it has purloined from those least able to give, since 2010, eh? Furthermore, he has already reinstated 10 of the blocker MPs who halted his commitment “NO IF’S OR BUT’S” to leave the EU on 31st October, so four of them can now re-enter the Commons after the Election to replicate such actions. He not only promised something he couldn’t deliver, so excuses that by blaming parliament, but now he is claiming ‘You can do free trade deals based on zero tariffs, zero quotas, and most importantly the whole of the UK comes out, England, Scotland, Wales and northern Ireland come out together, and what it means you take back control as a country, your money, your borders, your laws”. Sound like what he previously offered the population, eh? He has now even abdicated responsibility to the Brexit party for getting re-elected and “getting BREXIT done“ by demanding that they don’t field their parliamentary candidates so he can unfairly win more seats, eh? Risking getting a majority is MORE important to him than delivering the BREXIT we voted for

Dick Whittington, staring the principal antagonist bad guy ‘Jeremy Corbyn’ as the Demon King who enters from extreme stage left, because left is traditionally associated with the devil, to terrify the voters in the street with a vision of social-justice socialism for Britain akin to that of ‘Venezuela’, eh? In a wealth redistribution escapade of just 20 years, a democratic oil-rich affluent country with the richest economy in South America, with its mostly urban and educated population having access to clean drinking water, sanitation facilities and electricity, has been transformed into a corrupt poverty stricken undemocratic land with no imports, £70billion in outstanding debt of which the bulk is in default so access is lost to international capital markets, featuring a ruinously crashed moribund economy with most businesses collapsed, an impoverished community facing water, sanitation, electricity, medicine, money, and even food, all either rationed or unavailable, a people unsupported by a buckled health system. [By contrast in this panto version there is no Good Fairy appearing from the right, eh?]

Cinderella, originally a mythical story of unjust oppression and triumphant reward, but here it’s a non- dazzling comedy with a cast of nobodies headed not by the title character, who doesn’t appear nor does the magical fairy godmother, but by an ‘uncanny’, wet-behind-the-ears, youngish Scot and apparent socialist liberalist ‘Jo Swinson’ as wicked stepmother Lady Tremaine together with the pair of truly Ugly Stepsisters in supporting cast. In standard panto the latter are played by men in frocks pretending to be ladies, who wear silly outfits and have lots of make-up on their faces and silly wigs on their heads but in this production however they are genuine females nevertheless with equally silly images, while their pretence is all about having any long-term relevance to UK politics – these are convincingly played though by its supposedly green committed, solidary MP Caroline Lucas, with her ‘ex-Eurosceptic’ party’s dubious aims to create a just, equitable and sustainable society, but is now linked with Liz Saville Roberts an MP who seemingly seeks independence on behalf of the Welsh whist instead remaining under control of the EU, but nevertheless leader of a party in the Commons that is so unpopular that it holds only 4 of the 40 Welsh seats there. So, these are three supposed parliamentarians who decry democracy because they disagree with the voters, and hence cynically have formed a ‘Remain’ alliance, albeit to the anger of many of their grassroots members, to try to thwart the population’s BREXIT decision

Peter Pan with ex-City trader and long standing brexiteer Nigel Farage MEP performing in the flamboyant villainous bad boy character of Captain Hook, swaggering about the country ship and sneering in an unmatchable way at all others, while strutting about and amply proving his unrequited ambition to be in charge of politics. He formed a new party that would be honest, controlled by its supporters, and unlike the existing ones could be trusted to do what it said. However, having already been rejected 7 times, he himself daren’t stand for parliament again, he demanded a clean break BREXIT and that the tory withdrawal agreement was ditched but then HE accepted it would indeed stand, then HE let his supporters and the general public down when he promised to field candidates in every constituency but reneged on that by standing down 317 being half of them at the twelfth hour when his bluff was called – today it is reported that he will stand down a further 43 candidates. Moreover, his character is tainted by his close friendship with and approval of sleezebag Donald Trump, instead of just appropriate, respectful, acquiescence, acceptance of the ‘current’ continuance of his US presidency, eh?

Robin Hood at some unfortunate places featuring the independent villains playing the evil Prince John and the even eviller Sheriff of Nottingham or just an outrageous Dame. These of course include MPs thrown out of parliamentary parties as untrustworthy and reneging on commitments made to their constituencies and who gutlessly refused to face their electorate until a General Election was forced on them, eh? Amongst them you will find euroman and ‘pretend’ Briton Dominic Grieve, a Tory ex-Attorney General, best known for over years opposing and scuppering BREXIT. He partly lives in France, and is of course as you might expect, the president of the ‘Franco-British Society’, a holder no less of France’s ‘Legion of Honour’, and broadcasts not in the UK but in French on French radio and television. He was deselected by his constituency party 3 months ago, but he as an independent now has the pledged support of the Beaconsfield LibDems who have withdrawn their candidate Rob Castell as they are grateful for his clandestine backing as a Conservative MP for their ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ campaign – don’t worry Grieve will simply be spending more time with his family and friends in his beloved France, eh?

Ask yourself this “Can you actually trust ANY of our political parties or our politicians”. Do you BELIEVE that the massive spending promises that are being made before the 12th December will actually be delivered in practice when power is achieved for 5 years, eh?

Perhaps you have pondered why in the UK we put a ‘cross’ ✖ in a box to vote for our chosen candidate in an Election, and not a ‘tick’✔ which is the normal checkmark of approval or yes, as opposed to that of the cross for non-approval or no, eh? Well, back as early as the 9th century, scribes validated documents using the sign of the cross, and in more recent ancient times a cross was written on documents as a proof of a person’s identity and intent when they were uneducated and couldn’t write. What does it tell us about imitation democracy in Britain when our elite politicians still put us voters in that category of being inferior beings? You see, the political classes resent and rue the reforms that brought about general voting rights and universal suffrage with voting rights for women – they hanker for the days when only the elite land owners and rich had any say in running the Country, and when MPs answered to nobody, as we voters don’t understand what we vote for, they say?


[It is imperative that ALL us voters exercise the right that others have died to give us, as otherwise it will be lost. But what do we do when placed in the predicament created by the current lot of politicians? Let your voice he heard – write on the ballot paper “NONE OF THE ABOVE”]


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