An Englishman was going to the States and all his friends warned him about how BIG everything was there. He travelled to New York on Delta Airlines and on board the Captain welcomed passengers telling them that they were on the biggest airline in the world, flying in a 747 Jumbo, the biggest and best aircraft in history. He arrived at JFK International airport, where the welcome tannoy announced that it was the busiest airport in North America. He caught an outsized Yellow cab driven by the biggest driver he had ever seen. The cabbie boasted that New York was the biggest city in America and when they passed the Empire State building the cabbie further swanked about how it was one of the tallest buildings anywhere. When they arrived at the Hilton Hotel the tallest commissionaire he had ever seen helped him out of the cab, and at Reception they booked him in and told him that it was the biggest hotel in New York with the largest rooms.
He unpacked and went to find the hotel bar to have a drink. The bar was gigantic and included the longest bar in the world. The barman was a giant of a man. The barman recommended the hotel’s Long Island cocktail, a really powerful and colossal drink – he was warned though by the barman not to overdo it. He really liked it so nevertheless he ordered a second one. With jetlag, excitement, tiredness, and everything else, the drink affected him sorely and he was slightly drunk. He asked the barman where was the Gents and was directed to go through the door at one end of the bar and that the men’s toilet was down the corridor, the first on the right. He went off, staggering slightly.
After five minutes when he hadn’t returned, the barman was a bit concerned and went off to find him. He went down the corridor and into the toilet, first on the right. It was empty and the guest wasn’t there. The barman came out and went further down the corridor to try to find him. The barman finally opened the door which was second on the left, which led to the hotel swimming pool, and switched on the light. There was the guest thrashing wildly about in the pool – the visitor called out in absolute panic “for Christ sake don’t pull the CHAIN”.