New British Battle [2015]

weapons2Grand Master: “Sire the news from the field is good. The enemy are in disarray. King David is unpopular with the people and his large army is now demoralised and in fear of defeat in the battle.”

Monarch Pretender: “Yes Grand Master, the battle will be won!”

Chancellor Pretender: “SireEd, their Champion George is running out of monies and is racking up major debts. He is beginning to have difficulties raising funds from other lands to pay for everything. All and sundrey are speaking ill of him. Also the king’s allies now are in constant and increasingly vocal disagreement with the king – they may be even persuaded to join our cause. Pray sire Ed, let me challenge him to a fight to the death on the jousting field.”

Monarch Pretender: “No, not yet ballEd.”

Chancellor Pretender: “But sireEd if you let me do the fight, we could bring down their king before the battle. The king with his men is enslaving most of the people in the countryside and the towns, and confiscating their food and possessions, throwing many of the poorest out of their homes. The only ones still left untouched by their Aplan are the wealthy barons who have their own castles. I enjoy a good joust sire and can take their champion out.”

Monarch Pretender: “ballEd I’ve said NO. You have got to understand our strategy and constraints ballEd. We don’t want to provoke the king into violent action yet. It is not the right time. We want the king to get hurt and wounded as time goes by, but not to get a fatal wound – that has always been our plan since we lost the last battle to him 3 years ago. If I became king I would have had to do most of the confiscating as well, though I would have aimed at the wealthy first. The way it is the king gets all the blame now and then I can walk in and take everything over after the battle, and all the peoples will love me and me alone. We don’t want their false champion defeated before the battle or for that matter the king to be deposed before the battle. It suits us to go into battle with them leading their army; it will make things easy for us and we will be able to massacre them all. We want their allies there with them on the battle field so we can kill them off as well – if any of them survive though and we can use their services we will let them be cannon fodder for our army!”

Chancellor Pretender: “But sireEd what if they have raised the whole country before the battle and destroyed everything – there will be nothing for us to rule?

Monarch Pretender: “ballEd that is a chance I am prepared to take to gain power”

Chancellor Pretender: “OK sirEd, but I just wish I could have a fight – I miss it”.

Monarch Pretender: “Don’t panic ballEd, there will be some fun in the summer – a local skirmish with the king’s forces in May and a crusade army nice big conflict with them in June. Must get back to my union serfs meeting now”.


[Comment: are two eds better than none]

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